Bad postcard of the week:

Turtle-taunting thrill rides in pre-Disney Florida
From:  The Grand Rapids Press

 So this is what passed for a thrill ride in Florida before Space Mountain opened.

Now you know why Walt Disney is the patron saint of the Sunshine State.

But at least you don’t have to climb off the turtle and have “It’s a Small World After All” running through your head for the rest of the day.

Reader Jonathan Morgan shares this wonderfully awful postcard. The back reads: "A small boy uses a clever device to get a ride on one of the huge Galapagos tortoises at Ross Allen's Reptile Institute at Florida's Silver Springs."

Mr. Morgan writes that “as a former professional wildlife rehabber, we just don't approve of children actually riding on the animals.”

I suddenly feel guilty about putting the kids on the camel ride at the John Ball Zoo, but I’ll let Mr. Morgan continue.

“If a Galapagos tortoise recently took a large bite out of its 115-year-old mate's shell, then it could probably have eaten this kid whole in a couple of minutes-- if it wanted to.”

See, I like this better now, because the Jungle Cruise has only implied danger. The hippo is never really going to attack the boat. But if the turtle started chewing on this kid, that would be exciting.

As always with bad postcards, we have mysteries. What made little Johnny think a Galapagos turtle would chase an apple? Do they even eat apples? Can they climb trees to get them?

If I saw a Galapagos turtle climbing an apple tree, that would be cool. Not as cool as the Hall of Presidents, because that’s the best. But certainly as cool as the Country Bear Jamboree.

I learned all about Ross Allen's Reptile Institute on a “Florida's Lost Tourist Attractions” website.

It turns out that Allen was quite the wildlife adventurer and even served as the stand-in for Johnny Weismuller in the Tarzan movies.

He created the Reptile Institute in 1929 to show off snakes and alligators along with an “Indian Village” with Seminoles from the Everglades. Allen would handle snakes and the Indians wrestled the gators before everyone headed off to the souvenir shop.

Allen became something of an accomplished scholar in the ways of alligators, and his snakes were milked for their venom for research and antivenin production.

Walt Disney World took a pretty big bite out of the business, and according to the website he was planning Ross Allen’s Alligator Town theme park in nearby Lake City. Alas, he died before the dream could come true – though not at the hands of a gator or giant turtle.

Mr. Morgan said the postcard is a favorite for another reason.

“I think that is my older brother in the photo in the late 50s. It looks just like him. The haircut does, at least.”