The 21 Most Important Celebrity Bulges Of All Time

From: Buzz Feed

 And a special thank you to the Bulge Father who started it all

Bulgography

Jon Hamm has courageously outlined a way for all other bulges to finally get the attention they deserve. This post would not have been possible without this draping masterpiece and its total disregard for underwear.

The 21 Most Important Celebrity Bulges Of All Time

From: Buzz Feed

 1. 

The Mark Wahlberg

 Why it’s important

You would think the pressures of being the hottest bulge in Hollywood would be too much to handle, but not for Marky’s Mark! This perfectly symmetrical bulge stands erected next to Hamm’s as the most important bulge of all time. If you've got it, flaunt it.

Bulge Rating

 IT’S HAMMER TIME

The 21 Most Important Celebrity Bulges Of All Time

From: Buzz Feed

 2. 

The Justin Theroux

 Why it’s important

This active bulge is threouxghly the most enjoyable bulge to watch. Once set in motion, its girth and shock factor make for an unforgettable and hypnotizing sway as it slaps against the surrounding thighs.

Bulge Rating

4½ out of 5 Jon Hamms

The 21 Most Important Celebrity Bulges Of All Time

From: Buzz Feed

 3. 

The Zachary Quinto

  

Why it’s important

 DO YOU SEE THAT?! HAROLD, DO YOU SEE THAT BULGE?! Who wouldn't want to Trek into the darkness with this bulge?

Bulge Rating

4½ out of 5 Jon Hamms

The 21 Most Important Celebrity Bulges Of All Time

From: Buzz Feed

 4. 

The Cristiano Ronaldo

  

Why it’s important

The thought of playing with soccer balls was far less appealing before Ronaldo’s bulge first came onto the field and into our hearts.

Bulge Rating

4 out of 5 Jon Hamms

The 21 Most Important Celebrity Bulges Of All Time

From: Buzz Feed

 5. 

The Michael Fassbender

 Why it’s important

Michael’s fashionable meat locker is easily the best-dressed bulge out there. This is one bad bulge you wouldn't be afraid take to home to meet the parents.

Bulge Rating

4 out of 5 Jon Hamms

The 21 Most Important Celebrity Bulges Of All Time

From: Buzz Feed

 6. 

The Kellan Lutz

 

Why it’s important

From sporting workout attire to designer clothes, The Lulge will be sure to make itself present no matter the apparel. This is one bulge that truly keeps on giving around the c(l)ock.

Bulge Rating

3½ out of 5 Jon Hamms

The 21 Most Important Celebrity Bulges Of All Time

From: Buzz Feed

7. 

The Shemar Moore

 Why it’s important

Moore’s bulge has taught us two important life lessons:

1. It’s what’s underneath that counts. 

2. You can never hide who you truly are.

WE CAN LEARN FROM THE BULGES.

Bulge Rating

3½ out of 5 Jon Hamms

The 21 Most Important Celebrity Bulges Of All Time

From: Buzz Feed

 8. 

The Jensen Ackles

Why it’s important

This supernatural bulge put its head on the line to represent bulges on television during a time when bulges were highly underrepresented. With the help of a tight wardrobe, Ackles proved you can be packing despite working on a show called Smallville.

Bulge Rating

3 out of 5 Jon Hamms

The 21 Most Important Celebrity Bulges Of All Time

From: Buzz Feed

 9. 

The Ryan Gosling

 Why it’s important

I mean, it’s attached to Ryan Gosling.

Bulge Rating

3 out of 5 Jon Hamms

The 21 Most Important Celebrity Bulges Of All Time

From: Buzz Feed

 10. 

The Mario Lopez

 Why it’s important

It’s hard to think of a bulge that has been in our lives as long this one. I mean we've practically watched it grow on national television. It’s easy to see why this bulge ranks in the top 10.

Relax, everyone: It’s all right ‘cause you’re saved by the bulge!

Bulge Rating

2½ out of 5 Jon Hamms

The 21 Most Important Celebrity Bulges Of All Time

From: Buzz Feed

 11. 

The Jamie Foxx

 Why it’s important

Don’t blame the sight of this bulge on the alcohol, IT’S REAL LIFE, PEOPLE. Unchained or tucked away under clothes, this is one beautiful bulge.

Bulge Rating

2½ out of 5 Jon Hamms

The 21 Most Important Celebrity Bulges Of All Time

From: Buzz Feed

 12. 

The Jake Gyllenhaal

 Why it’s important

We’re just gonna go ahead and say this bulge could probably save someone’s life with a little mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Who would want to live a day after tomorrow without it?

Bulge Rating

2½ out of 5 Jon Hamms

The 21 Most Important Celebrity Bulges Of All Time

From: Buzz Feed

 13. 

The David Beckham

 Why it’s important 

You don’t get your own underwear line with a mediocre bulge. This bulge has nice curves and fills out any underwear properly. You know what they say: “Bulge like Beckham!”

Bulge Rating

2 out of 5 Jon Hamms

The 21 Most Important Celebrity Bulges Of All Time

From: Buzz Feed

 14

The Spider-Man (Andrew Garfield)

 Why it’s important

If the webs that shoot from these fingertips can save lives, imagine what the webs from this super bulge could do! Peter, park in here, please.

Bulge Rating

2 out of 5 Jon Hamms

The 21 Most Important Celebrity Bulges Of All Time

From: Buzz Feed

 15. 

The Ricky Martin

 Why it’s important

This bulge didn’t fully blossom until it split off from boy band Menudo back in the late ’80s. The charisma this bulge has developed over a long career is unbeatable… Well, maybe a little beatable. Livin’ la vida loca in the presence of this bulge!

Bulge Rating

2 out of 5 Jon Hamms

The 21 Most Important Celebrity Bulges Of All Time

From: Buzz Feed

 16.

 The David Henrie

 Why it’s important

For four seasons, the true magic behind Disney’s Wizards of Waverly Place was tucked away inside Justin Russo’s pants. To say the least, this is the most magical bulge of all the bulges.

HARRY POTTER, I THINK WE FOUND THE ELDER WAND!

Bulge Rating

1½ out of 5 Jon Hamms