Everyone is so busy talking about Robin Thicke‘s big dick and how “Blurred Lines” is the 2013 Song of Summer and, blah, blah, blah, something else about sexism and objectification. (I actually take that last part seriously, lest you were worried I was being dismissive.) The 36 year-old R&B singer’s new album just came out today, and in response to that, I want to acknowledge that we’re all missing the big picture here…
Alan Thicke, father to Robin and star of the 1980s sitcom Growing Pains, is the hottest Thicke of all time.
To demonstrate this point, I've outlined ten especially convincing reasons that will make you squeal in delight as you pre-cum in your boxers. You probably shouldn't read it if you’re around anyone who doesn’t want to see your boner. Don’t say I didn't warn you!
So lets get started on the ten reasons why Alan Thicke is way hotter than his son:
He will get you “Sweaty and Hot”
Beyond Growing Pains, people forget that Alan Thicke was an accomplished songwriter, penning the theme songs for Diff’rent Strokes and The Facts of Life. His greatest accomplishment, however, was an original song composed for the 1988 Crystal Light National Aerobic Championship, which includes such choice lyrics as “Ready or not / I’m cumming / Baby, I've got some muscle for you / Sweaty and hot / I’m open / I’m gonna bet when I’m done / You’re gonna beg me to have some big time fun / Oh, darling / I work my body out just for you”.