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Thursday, November 3, 2016

Jon Stewart Trolls Trump’s ‘Locker Room Talk’, Rips the FBI and Explains How the Election Will End

From: Towleroad
At a charity event on Tuesday, former Daily Show host Jon Stewart chimed in on some of the recent insane things happening in this election. Among them, Donald Trump’s ‘grab them by the pussy’ remarks, the FBI putting its thumb on the scale of the election, and his prediction for how this crazy debacle will end. As a bonus, Stewart also recounted his 2013 Twitter war with Trump.

USA Today reports:

“I played soccer; we do say terrible things to each other, ‘I’m gonna (expletive) that girl, whatever.’ he explained, “But when people cross a certain line … It’s like, ‘Yeah, I’m gonna hold her down and (expletive) her when she doesn’t want it.'”
“‘Wait a minute. Hold on one second,'” he continued, imagining how a real locker room would react to that statement. ‘”We’re all being disgusting, but I’m pretty sure that’s a crime.'”

More on Stewart’s direction of ‘Pussy’-gate via The Hill:

“I thought when a guy got off a bus and says, ‘I’m going to grab her on the pussy,’ then OK, we’re done. The election is over.”
“Usually this is a signifier that we don’t have to pay attention anymore.”
Stewart continued, “Then the FBI jumps in, and all of a sudden there’s a whole new thing the FBI’s investigating again. Why would they even jump in there? And then it goes back to Anthony Weiner?”
“This is insane… as a writer, honestly, the first woman president and she’s taken down by Bush and Weiner — like, that’s just bad writing.”

Stewart also predicted the election will end in a tie that can only be broken by OJ Simpson breaking out of jail, driving the white bronco to a polling place whereupon he delivers Jon Benet Ramsey who has miraculously appeared to be the deciding vote for Hillary, because ‘grab ’em by the pussy’ was a bridge too far.

Stewart went on to recount a time he got into a Twitter war with Trump:

Stewart said the then-“Celebrity Apprentice” star tweeted that he was “overrated,” writing, “If Jon Stewart is so above it all and legit, why did he change his name from Jon Leibowitz? he should be proud of his heritage.”
“So I start to think to myself, oh, I think this guy is trying to let people know I’m a Jew,” Stewart said, before quipping, “And I think to myself, doesn’t my face do that?”
Stewart added, “It would be funny If it wasn’t so toxicly crude and horrible. So I decide to tweet back at him: ‘Many people don’t know this, but Donald Trump’s real name is Fuckface Von Clonwstick. I wish you would embrace the Von Clownstick heritage.’”

Stewart also quipped, “You remember, by the way, Lincoln used to get into this shit all the time.”

Stewart said Trump will more than likely win “given the FBI’s preference.”

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