Ask QC: How long should foreplay last?

From: Queer Click

Dear Ask QC,

I recently started dating an older guy who is more experienced than me – I’m 22 and he’s 38. I’ve been active sexually since my late teens so think I am fairly experienced and what I really enjoy is getting fucked fast, hard and quick. My recent date prefers to take things more slowly and particularly when it comes to foreplay he wants this to last for hours. Literally hours!

I’m okay with making out for a short while, say 20 minutes max, but once I’m hot then I have this urge to be fucked and I want and need it right then – fast and furious. I also like to just be fucked without any foreplay at all, just take me there and then. My current date says I am missing out and that it’s better to have a long lead in time and lots of foreplay, but when I’ve tried that with him eventually (after an hour or so) I lose interest, that urge goes and frankly then I don’t even feel like sex at all.

So my question is, how long should foreplay last? I’ve always been used to the 20 ish minute thing then right down to business. Is there any way I can find to make it last longer? Or is it just down to our age differences? Any help and and advice would be greatly appreciated – thanks!

Tate.


Hi Tate and thanks for writing in with your questions and concerns. When it comes to foreplay (or sex in general) there aren’t really any right or wrong lengths of time. It’s more to do with what you both find stimulating and enjoyable so the length of foreplay will vary from couple to couple. Your current partner is a few years older and has said he has a preference for long foreplay sessions but even though he may have some more experience in certain aspects, both of you will be bringing your own experiences and something new to the table. Perhaps he is also now very used to long periods of kissing and foreplay before sex, or perhaps he just wants your session to last a longer time? Fast and urgent sex can, of course, also be very arousing and intense. I guess the thing is to keep it interesting, different and to try new things. You could try extending your foreplay with him for a few more minutes than usual and build up to extending that through more sessions over a period of time. Or you could alternate between the quickies and the longer sessions. Ultimately it’s what the two of you both want and you both shouldn’t become too fixated on the length of time the foreplay, fucking or sex lasts. As long as you are both enjoying it that’s the most important thing. So readers, what advice would you give Tate regarding foreplay? Are you a lover of long foreplay sessions? Do you find long foreplay more erotic or do you prefer just a few minutes? Do you have any tips on how Tate can feel comfortable with extending his foreplay sessions? If you can help him in any way then please share your thoughts, advice and experiences in the section!