It’s that time of year again, the air is still bitter and so am I. Well, to be honest, it’s not for the reasons you might think. It’s the plight of the single person on Valentine’s Day. It seems like on this “oh so special day” of the year a spotlight is placed upon every human being who is unfortunate enough to find themselves unattached.
The questions start early, say mid January time frame, as your co-workers begin to circle like sharks. “I notice there aren’t any pictures on your desk, is there a special fella?” First of all, “fella?” What decade is this? Secondly, oh wait there’s a phone call. “Hi Grandma……oh you have a lovely girl you would like me to meet……..she’s older like me and never married?…..Grandma she’s probably a lesbian, like me……..no I’m not a lesbian….I mean I’m gay, remember”…..and hang up on Grandma. Finally I get to escape to the sweet refuge of my home as I sit on the couch and turn on the television and am immediately bombarded with ad after ad telling me how lonely I am and how my life cannot be complete if I am not on a romantic get away, with a perfect diamond shoved in my pocket, at a very specific restaurant ready to propose to a woman…..apparently. So, I’m done.
I don’t want to shock corporate America, or Grandma or any of the “well meaning” people around me, but I’m OK being single. I may even say I’m happy where I am. We put far too much pressure on the single people in the world, we have historically always relegated them to a lower level of existence with words like “spinster” or “confirmed bachelor” always said with a touch of pity and disdain. Humans have consistently had an issue with the need to feel better then the humans around them.
Maybe we should all turn the television off for a minute, put down the box of chocolates and see each other as complete. That’s right. Complete as we are in this moment in time, at this breath of life. Maybe if we stop feeling inadequate, we will stop supporting things that damage us, allowing others’ expectations to supersede our own, and hurt each other a little less. The truth is we are all OK. Coupled, single, oversexed, undersexed, big, small, black, white and every other label we can slap on each other.
So yes, I’m single and it’s Valentine’s Day, but I am happier than I have ever been. I like my life, my work, myself. Hey, I even like you, even when you ask if I’m dating, where my pictures of love are and yes, Grandma I love you too for thinking that is what it takes for me to be happy. Maybe just dial down the pressure and accept that where I am right now is where I need to be. Just a thought.
Now before we go I want you to take a moment, put on Alanis Morissette’s “That I Would Be Good,” poor yourself a good glass of wine and re-read this article. It may just change the way you see the World. Or at least you will be less of an asshole to your single friends. Win/win really! Muah!