5.
ANDREW!
Andrew doesn’t do porn, but the guy who uses the Manhunt screen name HotCrippledLover won over quite a few fans, first by talking to Colby Keller and then later when he became our Manhunt Man of the Week. Another Canadian, we talked about the logistics of hooking up with disabled guys, online communities and how horny he is all the time. I never asked him about hockey, though, which is unlike me.
A few weeks ago we introduced you to Andrew from Ontario. In a two-part video interview with Colby Keller, he explained what it’s like living with a disability but also being a very horny gay man. Feedback from the interviews was really good, so we decided to bring Andrew back. Sadly you don’t get to watch Colby Keller this time! My typing is no substitute for that. But Andrew’s still very interesting! (And available. Scope his profile: HotCrippledLover.)
Hey Andrew! How have things been? People seemed to really like the interview with Colby!
It’s still getting such a good response. I’m quite happy.
You seem really interested in telling the world about what it’s like as a gay man with a disability.
I’d like to promote all gay men with disabilities. You know, I can give head just like the next guy. I like getting my balls played with. I’m not paralyzed. If you open your mind a little bit, the sex is a totally different experience. It’s a lot more about intimacy.
So do you hook up a lot with guys you meet online?
Guys tend to be very afraid of the chair. Hookup culture is a fun fantasy, but it doesn't work very well. For one thing, I’m not really into anonymous hookups, even if I know it’s just a one-time thing. And I don’t want it to be a quick twenty-minute thing. I want it to be light and fun. It should be fun. I don’t like one-night stands where after he leaves, you’re feeling shitty.
But hookups do happen sometimes… What was your best experience with a guy you met on Manhunt?
I’ve been meeting guys online for about ten years now, on Manhunt for the last five or so. The best experience… It was a dude in Toronto that I met when I lived about six hours away. The chair didn’t bother him but it didn’t excite him, either. When I went to give him head I couldn't reach, so he stood on two chairs and I was underneath him. That was a lot of fun. I moved just outside Toronto now, and we still talk. We’re not regular fuck buddies, but we kept in touch.
Have you ever hooked up with other men that had a disability?
Yes. I slept with a guy with my disability—cerebral palsy. It affects different people in different ways, and in my case it means I can’t walk. We got each other off, and afterwards he proceeded to tell me that I was too disabled for him and that he didn’t want to do it anymore.
With the chair, is it always more practical for you to host?
My house is 100% chair accessible. If I go to a guy’s house he should realize that he has to do more. As long as he understands, and there’s trust involved. Once I’m out of the chair I’m not physically able to do a lot for myself.
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Is there much of an online community for disabled gay men?
There’s not. There was a journal at one point called Bent Voices, but it’s now defunct. You know, a lot of the emphasis is actually on queer women’s studies. A lot of queer studies is based in feminism, anyway. But I’m hoping there will be more out there eventually.
What kind of men are you personally attracted to?
I prefer a more masculine man, but I don’t want to discriminate by saying that. I mean, you have to see what clicks for you, but I don’t deny anyone based only on his supposed femininity.
How about a few examples…
Colby is a really sweet guy, and he’s got a brain and a big dick and a beard. Seth Fornea, who I know you feature a lot. I’m actually attracted to older guys in general. Guys who have their shit together. John Stamos! He’s over fifty now, and who didn’t want to fuck Uncle Jesse?
If a guy thought he might be interested in meeting you, what kind of advice would you give him first?
Just go with it. Ask a lot of questions, and ask them beforehand. Don’t do it once you’re getting it on. Ask in a nice, honest way. “Can I ask you how your disability affects your sexuality?” Something like that. Don’t be a douche about it.
What are some misconceptions that you think guys have?
Well, I don’t subscribe to the idea that one person needs to be 100% top or 100% bottom. Sometimes I’m happy with just oral, jacking off or making out.
I think a lot of gay men feel that way, actually, it’s just not what’s normally presented in porn…
And especially with online sex culture. We all have this idea of what is the body beautiful, and I don’t fit that aesthetic. As a gay man you’re held to a much higher physical standard, and maybe that’s why it’s hard for us to band together.
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