From: NewNowNext
Cathal McCarron is a star player in Gaelic football—and straight. But in 2014 he appeared in several gay porn movies to pay off gambling debts.
Now McCarron, who plays for Tyrone, says the whole experience helped him understand the LGBT community better.
In his new memoir, Out of Control, the 28-year-old relates how a crippling gambling addiction led him to film both solo and partner sex scenes, as both a top and bottom.
“As we had sexual intercourse, I did everything to suppress my real emotions, to dislocate myself from the moment. All I was thinking about was the money I was going to receive afterwards,” he told The Irish News.
“When the filming was over I felt physically sick, disgusted that I had allowed myself to sink into such an abyss of degradation and humiliation.”
He spent the approximately $3,300 he was paid in just two days. It was just a drop in the bucket, after all, compared to the $220,000 he had stolen to feed his gambling habit, mostly from his father.
McCarron says he was told the videos would only appear on pay-per-view in U.S. hotels but he was quickly outed.
“Anyone in their right mind knows that uploaded material can appear anywhere, but I wasn’t in my right mind,” he confesses. “I accepted the offer of some work.”
A steady stream of hateful and homophobic comments on the Internet soon followed, leading him to delete his social media and go into rehab.
“I had sold my body. I had blackened my soul. All for just two-days gambling,” said McCarron, who confessed he considered suicide.
Eventually he returned to football and, this year, was chosen for an All Star. He’s also studying to become a therapist and hopes to be able to counsel others.
Nice to get an #INAllstars award and to share it with my club mate,friend and bus buddie @niallmc14 ⚪️🔴🔵⚪️ 💪🏻 pic.twitter.com/2ZTenDrd6L— Cathal McCarron (@mc_carron1) September 9, 2016
And while he still gets propositioned by gay men, he says it's not a huge deal.
“When the video went viral, some of those forums were laced with comments from gay men about how much they wanted to have sex with me. The last thing I am is gay, but I’ll take those comments above vile, vitriolic, homophobic and personal abuse any day of the week… It’s embarrassing when some man asks to meet you, but I don’t look on that as a negative.”
Thanks to all the Tyrone fans for great support out there today. Hopefully start to a long road ahead #🔴⚪️#dromore3 pic.twitter.com/n9Mew53adR— Cathal McCarron (@mc_carron1) April 24, 2016
McCarron adds, “I completely respect the lesbian and gay community because I really appreciated their messages of support when so many others wanted to bury me.”
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