Dad,
Just a note to wish you a Happy Father's Day. After the events that have happen over the past week,as I struggle with my feelings about it, along with all the things that have happened in our lives over the past few years, this seems like the right time to say these words.
First, I want to let you know that I love you, and always have. I know we have had some rough times and spent many months at different time not speaking. This was more my fault then yours, having a lot to do with my own issues in learning to love myself. I should have know that you loved me no matter what, and you always were always trying to protect me, push me to succeed and be the best person I could be.
I know that there are many things we don't agree upon, we often have very opposite points of views. That being said, I think it is because even though we are very different people, we are so much alike. I as I grow older, I can recognize so many things in me that I know are from you. And we have learned that we can agree to not agree on things, rather then fight about it.
I was and probably am still not the perfect son, and I am sure you can agree that you are not the perfect dad. Yeah, you made mistakes but you did the best you could, and when I look back at most things, I understand that.
Growing up there were things that happened to me that I wish I could have told you, or should have told you, things that happened to me that I wish you could have protected me from. I am sure it would have changed me as person. But we cannot change the past and have to try to move forward, which has not always been easy.
Dad, I have heard you cry for me, and that has let me know now, how much you love me. The day you had your heart attack was one of the worst days in my life. I was so afraid that you were not going to make it, we were not on great terms at that time. I did not want things to end that way. I thank God that he was not ready for you and we have had more time together. Life is too short, and one never knows when it will end and that is part of the reason I have to say these words today.
There is a song by Reba, that played one time we together and you said it reminded you of Grandpa. I don't know about that, but today, in my mind, I could have written it about you.
The Greatest Man I Never Knew
The greatest man I never knew lived just down the hall
And everyday we said hello but never touched at all
He was in his paper, I was in my room
How was I to know he thought I hung the moon
The greatest man I never knew, came home late every night
He never had too much to say, too much was on his mind
I never really knew him Oh and now it seems so sad
Everything he gave to us took all he had
Then the days turned into years
And the memories to black and white
He grew cold like an old winter wind
Blowing across my life
The greatest words I never heard I guess I'll never hear
The man I thought could never die is been dead almost a year
He was good at business but there was business left to do
He never said he loved me guess he thought I knew
With all this being said, I am proud to be your son and damn lucky to have you as my dad. Our relationship has never been perfect, and all I ever wanted to do is make you proud. I hope that I have have done that. I am not sure how much time either of has left on the planet, but I hope it is many more years. I hope and pray that you have a joyous Father's Day. Have a cocktail (or two) and make the most of the day.
With all my love, your youngest – Dan
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Got a response back from my dad about the letter I wrote to him for father's day and wanted to share it.
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