60.
MICHAEL FASSBENDER
In case you forgot, Michael Fassbender‘s flopping penis was a huge deal from late 2011 to early 2012. (There is a very obvious “huge deal” joke that I’m resisting right now.) Over the past year, we got to know more about this man affectionately known as “Fassy”, all with the knowledge of the big, flopping penis that lurks in his trousers.
What the fuck is Michael Fassbender waiting for? I’ve basically given him permission to stick his big, floppy dick into whatever orifice pleases him, and he’s off somewhere doing stupid stuff like “being heterosexual” and filming huge Hollywood movies. Should I be offended? Am I not cute enough for Michael Fassbender to dick-slap me?
I mean, he’s already eye-fucked me ’til I’m sore in these new shots from GQ! He might as well just go all the way and spread my fuzzy cheeks for a good, hard fuck. It would not be the worst thing if I were on my back with my ankles on his shoulders, and he were staring me straight in the eyes with his sweat dripping down onto my forehead. Nope! I wouldn't mind that all.
So, really, what are you waiting for, Fassbender? Let’s do this.
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