Lifeguard Gets Embarrassing Email From His Boss After Complaints About His ‘Huge Eggplant’

From: Gaily Grind

 A 20-year-old lifeguard shared the embarrassing email he recently received from his boss about his ‘huge talent’.

The boss writes: “We have received a few complaints in the past few weeks from a few members about your attire. I’m not sure the most prudent way I can put this, but a few parents have complained about how visible your anatomy is in your suit.”

He adds: “Now, please understand that this is not an issue for me, and none of the other guards have indicated this is a problem for them…The possibility I see at this point is offering you the board shorts instead.”

Read the entire email message Jake received, below:

Jake also shared a post on Reddit’s “Big Dick Problems” thread about the unforeseen consequences he has experienced because of his 6-inches soft and 9.5 inches hard penis.

He writes:

I just found this page, and thought I’d share my story and see if other people have had some of the same issues. So I’m 20 now, and up until a few years ago I thought I was average. In school health class they never really talked about what the average size was, and I never really bothered to compare myself to other guys. Obviously, the guys in the porn that I’d seen had huge dicks and I didn’t really think that maybe they would be above average at the time. When I was around 14, I joined my high school’s swim team and experienced a school locker room for the first time. I had taken gym class in middle school, but there were no showers, and we never got down to anything past our underwear so I never really noticed anything different about me other than I had more body hair than most of the other guys. I started puberty pretty early and I was one of the few in my class to have pit hair, a happy trail, etc.

When I joined my high school’s team, I learned that we, first of all, had to wear Speedos, which I had never done before, and second of all, had to take showers before and after practice and meets. Like in most schools’ locker rooms, the showers were communal with no privacy. The first day, I went into the locker room like everyone else, we got our Speedos and were told to shower and change into them for the first practice. (Keep in mind, up until this point in my life, no one else had really seen me naked except maybe my doctor and my parents from when I was really young.) We got into the showers and I just tried to focusing on getting in and out as quickly as possible. That part went fine, as far as I knew, and I walked over to the lockers to get my suit on. I had a few friends on the team with me, and as I was changing, one of them came up to me and said something along the lines of, “Dude, your dick is huge.” I didn’t believe him since I thought I was average, but the next practice I looked around in the showers and noticed most of the other guys were maybe 1-2 inches soft, and I was closer to 4.5. From that day on, in every locker room and public shower I go to, I get looks, some of them of interested guys and some of them disgusted looks from guys who probably think I’m being a show-off.

For the four years I was in high school, I stayed on the swim team and took two years of standard gym class. Every day in the locker room I’d see guys glancing in my direction, trying not to make it obvious that they’re looking, then whispering to their friends. I had friends with me in the room in most of these situations, and they would usually just tell me not to let it bother me, but it usually would. I eventually got used to wearing the Speedos, even though I had the most noticeable bulge on the team, at that point we were all usually focusing on other things, so it didn’t matter as much.

I’m now 20, a freshman in college, and on my college’s swim team. Generally, the guys are more mature in the locker rooms than in high school, but occasionally I’ll catch some guys laughing and trying not to make it obvious that they’re looking. Being in the United States, most guys are circumcised, and I’ve always been the only uncut guy in the locker room (that I noticed anyways), so that might have something to do with the looks as well. Last time I measured a few months ago, I was 5.5-6 inches soft and between 8.75 and 9.5 inches hard depending on my arousal, the temperature, and who knows what else. I believe I’m also fairly above average in girth, but I haven’t measured that. I assume I’m done growing since it’s been about the same size for a year or so.

Wearing any kind of athletic shorts (Under Armour, Nike, etc. basketball/lacrosse shorts) produces a noticeable bulge, to the point where some people have thought I had a boner. I avoid skinny jeans, but normal jeans are generally fine, especially if I have a longer shirt that can cover that area a little bit. I actually wear jeans for as long as I can before the weather gets too hot because I never look forward to wearing shorts. Even with normal swim trunks / board shorts, there is a fairly large bulge, especially when getting out of the water.

I’ve actually been asked by the management at several water parks to wear “appropriate swimwear” the next time because apparently in their rules they have a section about “revealing swimwear”.

Like many others have posted here, it touches the toilet water when soft, and presses up against the side of the bowl when hard.

I haven’t had a ton of sex, but the few times that I have, or have tried, the girl was either too scared because of the size, or we had to stop shortly after because it was hurting her. I’m bi, but I’ve never had sex (anal) with a guy. Only one person has been able to deepthroat it all the way. Regular sized-condoms are generally too tight, so I usually go for the larger sizes.

Trying to talk about these things with friends has been hit or miss. 99% of my guy friends are straight, and generally don’t like talking about any of this for fear of sounding too “gay”. Some of them will indulge my complaints sometimes, but I try not to bring it up too often. Finding someone that will actually listen, give helpful advice, or can actually relate, has been challenging, so I generally have been keeping these things to myself.

I think that about sums it up, if anyone has any questions or comments or anything feel free to comment. Thanks for reading. :)