Many of you may know or have heard of “the hanky code,” a device first used in the 70s by gay men to denote their sexual proclivities by placing a specific colored handkerchief in either the back left or right pocket.
Brace yourselves, because the code is back. But with a twist. As Justin Sayre, speaking on behalf of the board of The International Order of Sodomites, points out, instead of your preferred brand of ‘kink,’ “this time [the hanky code will be] used to talk about your damage.” Some examples? Grey means boring, yellow marks a commitment-phobe, cobalt blue signifies emotionally withholding, whereas pink will now stand for ingrained homophobia (“These are the guys that refer to you on Grindr as ‘man’ or ‘dude’ when you would prefer, ‘Her ladyship’”). Teal denotes a problem with collectibles meanwhile olive means you hate the Golden Girls (they tried to pick the ugliest color). As helpful as this new code may be, the important thing is to stay humble and self-aware:
“We ask you all to be kind when assigning colors to other people because, remember, you’ll be wearing them too. So before you start passing out the emotional unavailable and the mustard color hankies, take a look behind yourself and take a look at that amazing technicolor dreamcoat.”
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