Allegedly Closeted Gay Actor Seeks Advice On Coming Out On Reddit

From:  Queerty

Reddit user, mylifeisalie123, claiming to be a “well known American film actor” and “closeted homosexual,” sought some community support on possibly coming out as a gay through the Confession subreddit:

I will not reveal who I've worked with or what I've starred in obviously, as I don’t want to be identified. I love my career, and I know I would lose my leading man status if I ever came out. I feel terribly guilty about many different things.

First of all, I feel like I’m misleading my fans. I know a lot of women watch my movies to watch me, and part of that is fantasy, and I feel like it’s all based on a lie. They do a lot market analysis in Hollywood. I get told about which demographics I do well with, and I feel like I’m misleading so many people, or letting them down.

I am dating another well known personality, and we’ve been publicly together for a while now. I know she expects to get married, the press expect us to get married, but of course this would be a great disservice to her. Truth be told I think she knows. She is a wonderful woman and a wonderful person and I don’t deserve someone as loving and trusting in my life, and I truly do love her, but I’m not in love with her, and sex with her, despite her beauty, is difficult for me.

I also feel terribly guilty because I know there are so many gay kids out there and I feel like by not coming out, and not providing that public display of being gay and being successful I’m letting them down. Public figures like Ellen DeGeneres coming out when I was younger made a huge difference to me, and I feel like I should be paying it forward, but I’m too afraid of my whole life being ruined.

I’ve only told a few people. I’ve been with two men since my career has started. Both have been, thankfully, very discrete. My two best friends from before I became mainstream know, and have been supportive. I’ve told two gay actors who have come out because I trusted they would keep it to themselves, having been in the same position. They were comforting and told me to do what I needed to do, but it didn’t assuage my guilt at all. I tested the water with my agent, who basically told me “Faggots don’t make it in this town,” and then went on to basically explain that he would never represent a gay man because the effort versus the money just makes it not worth it to him. It frankly terrifies me. I just wanted to get it out there.

Assuming that this guy’s the real deal, he voices some very real concerns when it comes to coming out in Hollywood. Though it’s by far the gayest town in all of America, it runs on a twisted double standard where “leading men” types have to play into a fantasy in order to truly “make it.”

Reddit users, for the most part supportive, mentioned examples such as Neil Patrick Harris, Matt Bomer and Zachary Quinto. The first two are television actors, whom, mylifeisalie123 says, are held to a different standard, while Quinto is regarded more as the exception than the rule. He’s also not what one would consider a mainstream leading man — meaning he’s not getting cast as the romantic lead in a regrettable Nicholas Sparks adaptation. To his chagrin, we’re sure.

The original poster acknowledges that he is a “coward” as well as a “weak and selfish person,” but his fellow Redditors think he has less of a problem with his sexuality than he has with his agent; some urging him to fire the bastard and find someone willing to take him on.

Closeted Actor maintains that it’s not so simple. So let’s open this conversation up to the internet at large. First, we’d be remiss if we didn’t indulge in a bit of speculation since we’re sure everyone wants to know who this alleged “well-known American film actor” is. Ryan Gosling, Robert Pattinson, Joseph Gordon-Levitt  and Shia LaBeouf are some names that have been bandied about. Meanwhile, nary a mention of Ed Asner.

Second, is this closeted actor overreacting, or is America finally ready for a gay-list A-lister?