Former OHL and semi-professional hockey player Brock McGillis came out in a piece published by Yahoo! Canada Sports.
McGillis wrote that, “Hockey has always been very homophobic,” going on to say that the culture he was exposed to in the locker rooms pushed him to stay in the closet.
“I can’t count the amount of times I heard phrases like: That’s gay or what a homo in the dressing room over the course of my hockey career. Words like fag, pussy, and bitch are part of the daily banter. Those words are used to belittle players, to weaken and feminize them, because hockey is hyper-masculine, meant for the manliest of men.”
McGillis mustered up the courage to come out to his family “without judgement” but remained in the closet during his career for fear of being ostracized.
“I was fortunate to grow up in a supporting household without judgment or negativity towards homosexuality,” he wrote. “That was not the case with hockey family. Hyper-masculinity and hockey go hand-in-hand, so I had to lie to fit in with my teammates. I began dating as many girls as I could to avoid being exposed. I became a womanizer. In the OHL I had to have a girlfriend and she always had to be one everyone thought was attractive. It felt empty. I felt empty. I suppressed my sexuality to the point that I was angry at myself if I had sexual thoughts that weren’t heterosexual.”
It wasn’t until very recently that McGillis felt compelled to come out, when he had spoken to the late hockey legend Brian Burke. Burke started the You Can Play organization to help end homophobia in the sports world.
“Two days before his death we exchanged messages on Facebook and he wrote, ‘I can’t wait until the day that you’re out like I am.'”
That was enough to empower McGillis to speak his truth, and now he hopes his decision to be honest with the world will help others who are struggling.
“Know that I am here for you, the way Brendan Burke was there for me,” he said. “Because it gives me an immense sense of pride carrying on his legacy.”
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