Aaron Schock
If the turquoise belts, the checkered pants, the perfectly-plucked eyebrows, the Downton Abbey-inspired office, or the spray-on tan weren’t enough to convince you that disgraced Republican politician Aaron Schock is, in fact, a Homosexual with a capitol H, then surely his abundance of half-naked selfies, his love of Katy Perry and Saudi Arabian antiques, and his expensive male “companion” are. Schock’s vocal support of antigay policies during his brief stint in office did absolutely nothing to help dispel rumors that he likes the D. Nor did his short-lived friendship with blossoming icon Ariana Grande. Time to bust out of that glass closet, Aaron. As you mount your comeback, the honesty it suggests might actually help people forgive and forget your fraudulent behavior in office. Or, well, it might not.
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