Those of you who are avid readers of Manhunt Daily might have picked up on the fact that there is literally nothing in the world that I want more than to get passed around the locker room by a horned up hockey team. Tough guys, big muscles, a general disrespect for personal space. Could anything be better than having your body crushed by the weight of some bearded beast who’s like 6’7″?
(Okay, you might not agree, but I just literally popped a boner typing that last sentence.)
Hockey season’s drawing to a close soon. There are five teams left with their eye on the Stanley Cup, and I thought I’d profile the dudes I most want to offer my sexual services to.
5.
Corey Perry
Anaheim Ducks
The Ducks aren’t my team… I have an aversion to all things Anaheim and even though Disney hasn't owned the team since like 2005, I still can’t really get behind the fact that the Ducks were basically created to cash in on a kids movie. You know what I would get behind, though, is Corey Perry, if you know what I”m saying.
Despite his somewhat twinkish looks, Corey Perry is 6’3″ and 212 lbs. Which means we’re almost exactly the same size! Except that he’s all muscle and I have the body of a professional blogger. I’m sensing that he might be a great flip-fucker.
Corey Perry (born May 16, 1985) is a Canadian professional ice hockey winger currently playing for the Anaheim Ducks of the National Hockey League (NHL). Drafted out of the Ontario Hockey League (OHL), he captured a Memorial Cup with the London Knights and a gold medal with Team Canada at the World Junior Championships during his major junior career. He was selected by the Ducks 28th overall in the 2003 NHL Entry Draft and won the Stanley Cup with the club in 2007. In 2008, Perry's numbers improved as he scored 29 goals and recorded 25 assists. In 2009, Perry scored 72 points and was named to his first NHL All-Star team. Perry continued his success in 2010 as he scored 27 goals and had 49 assists. In 2011, Perry won the Hart Memorial Trophy as the National Hockey League MVP for the 2010-11 season. He led the NHL with 50 goals and finished 3rd in points behind Daniel Sedin and Martin St. Louis with 98 points.
With Team Canada, he has won gold medals at the 2010 and 2014 Winter Olympics.
His younger brother Adam Perry played alongside him on the London Knights' 2005 Memorial Cup-winning team. Adam currently is the Assistant Coach of the London Nationals Junior B Team. Corey currently lives in London, Ontario, Canada in the off season and in Newport Coast, CA during the NHL season.
His parents are Geoff, a policeman for the Ontario Provincial Police (OPP), and Nancy. When he was three years old, Perry was watching a hockey game on television, holding a mini-stick, when he turned to his mother and said, "One day I'm going to play for you on TV, Mom." He got his first pair of skates from a close family friend, who oddly enough was the captain of the London Knights in 92-93 (Brett Marietti)
4.
Jonathan Toews
Chicago Blackhawks
I don’t like the Ducks, and I don’t like the Blackhawks, either. Nothing against Chicago—I really liked it the one time I was there, actually—but I prefer rooting for teams whose identities aren’t based on Native American stereotypes! (I know, I know. You are not here for that kind of talk.)
Luckily the Hawks’ dreamiest player, Captain Jonathan Toews, looks better with his shirt off than he does with the cartoony Tommy Hawk on his jersey. Something about Toews, though… Is it just me or does he have the aura of a really, really greedy bottom? The kind that does all the work for you and then begs for your big load? It’s not typical hockey fantasy behavior, but then again, I wouldn’t say “no” if I met him in the showers.
Jonathan Bryan Toews (/ˈteɪvz/ tayvz; born April 29, 1988) is a Canadian professional ice hockey center who currently serves as captain of the Chicago Blackhawks of the National Hockey League (NHL).
Toews was selected by the Blackhawks with the third overall pick in the 2006 NHL Entry Draft. He joined the team in 2007–08 and was nominated for the Calder Memorial Trophy as NHL rookie of the year. The following season, he was named team captain, becoming the third youngest captain in NHL history (behind Gabriel Landeskog, and Sidney Crosby) at the age of 20. Toews won the Stanley Cup in 2010, along with the Conn Smythe Trophy for the playoff MVP. After winning the Cup, Toews passed Peter Forsberg as the youngest player to join the Triple Gold Club. He won the Stanley Cup again in 2013.
Toews competes internationally for Team Canada and has won gold medals at the 2005 World U-17 Hockey Challenge, 2006 and 2007 World Junior Championships, 2007 World Championships, the 2010 Winter Olympics (a tournament in which he was named Best Forward) and the 2014 Winter Olympics.
Jonathan was born to Bryan Toews, an electrician at the University of Manitoba, and Andrée Gilbert, a native of Quebec from Sainte-Marie, Quebec who was the managing director and finance expert for a credit union in the Winnipeg region before retiring to oversee Toews' media relations. Like his brother David, he is bilingual, speaking fluent French and English. David, also attended Shattuck-St. Mary's and began his freshman year at the University of North Dakota in 2008–2009. Jonathan was selected with the Chicago Blackhawks 2006 1st round pick, making him the 3rd overall pick.
In January 2007, Toews and former teammate T.J. Oshie received alcohol-related citations for being minors in a Grand Forks, North Dakota tavern.[31][32] Toews and Oshie pled guilty to the charges.[33] The two were later placed on probation, and ordered to perform community service.[34]
In the spring of 2010, a large mural of Toews visible from the Eisenhower Expressway in Chicago received a degree of notoriety. The mural depicted Toews with an abnormally shaped nose and mouth, posed beside a picture of the Stanley Cup (appropriately, Toews would end up holding the Cup after winning it later that year). Toews commented on the mural, stating, "I guess it's from a picture and they must have embellished it a little bit. They're not helping me by any means."
Following the celebration of Toews bringing the Stanley Cup to his hometown of Winnipeg, Manitoba, the province of Manitoba announced that they would be naming a northern lake after Toews in honor of his success. The lake is located 150 km north of Flin Flon and is named Toews Lake. The same day, the Dakota Community Centre in St. Vital where Toews first played organized hockey was renamed the Jonathan Toews Community Centre. Also, he was given the Keys to the City to honor his achievement and hard work ethic.
3.
Marián Gáborik
Los Angeles Kings
Frequently traded and more frequently injured, the Slovak right wing has been playing in the NHL since 2000 and man oh man do I ever want him to jump my bones.
The 32-year old has a handsome face with the kind of half-sweet, half-sinister bad boy smile that makes me think a romp in the hay with him would not soon be forgotten.
Marián Gáborík (Slovak pronunciation: [ˈmarɪaːn ˈɡaːboriːk]; born February 14, 1982) is a Slovak professional ice hockey right winger currently playing for the Los Angeles Kings of the National Hockey League (NHL). He began his career in the Slovak Extraliga with HC Dukla Trenčín for two seasons before being drafted third overall in the 2000 NHL Entry Draft by the Minnesota Wild. Spending eight seasons in Minnesota before signing with the New York Rangers in 2009, Gáborík is the Wild's all-time leading scorer in goals.
Internationally, Gáborík is a two-time Olympian with Slovakia and has won a bronze medal at the 1999 World Junior Championships.
Gáborík has used his success to benefit Slovak ice hockey and player development. In 2005, he opened his ice rink Arena Mariána Gáboríka in his native city of Trenčín, Slovakia at a personal cost of approximately 50 million Slovak crowns. The ice rink provides the opportunity to both learn how to skate as well as play ice hockey for local youth, and also contains both a full fitness center for off-ice conditioning and accommodations so that participants in programs may stay overnight. The rink earned the distinction of "2005 Construction of the Year" in Trenčín. Beginning in 2009, Gáborík's ice rink has also begun offering a hockey school program.
Of the rink, Gáborík says:
"ARENA MG represents the fulfillment of one of my dreams. It was in Trenčín where I took my first ice-hockey steps, where I learned the first zigzags and shot my first goals. I am thankful for this opportunity and in order to give thanks for what ice hockey gave me, I also wanted to help other boys and girls and create conditions to help fulfill their sports dreams."
Gáborík spends a lot of personal time pursuing this endeavor during the off season, as he personally attends each of his hockey school's summer camp sessions to meet the campers and pose for photographs.
He has also founded the Marian Gaborik Foundation, which also supports his mission of expanding access to youth hockey in Slovakia.
2.
Max Pacioretty
Montreal Canadiens
During the last game of the Bruins-Canadiens series, Boston’s massive Zdeno Chara got into a little altercation with the Canadiens’ absurdly hot Max Pacioretty, and if this isn't the stuff of porny fan fiction, then I don’t know what is. Seriously.
That game aside, Pacioretty’s one of my favorite players right now for a lot of reasons: Those thick-set eyebrows. That conservative politician hairdo. That ass. That ability to push 1,135 pounds of weights like it’s no big deal. The tendency of fans to Photoshop his face onto pictures of Wolverine
Unlike submissive Toews and he-man Gáborik, I’m pretty sure Pacioretty likes sex in no matter what position he’s in. He’d put his legs in the air and let you plow his hole before abruptly flipping you over and showing you how things are REALLY done. He’s also got stamina. Something tells me he’s one of those guys that will unleash a massive load, then lay back with your dick in his throat until he’s ready for round two.
Maximillian K. Pacioretty (born November 20, 1988) is an American professional ice hockey player currently playing for the Montreal Canadiens of the National Hockey League (NHL). He was called up from the American Hockey League (AHL) for the second time on December 12, 2010. He was drafted 22nd overall in the 2007 NHL Entry Draft by the Montreal Canadiens.
Pacioretty is the brother-in-law of former NHL player Maxim Afinogenov. In July 2011, Pacioretty married Afinogenov's sister Katia.
His paternal grandmother, Theresa Pacioretty (née Savoie) is a French Canadian from Montreal.
1.
Martin St. Louis
New York Rangers
Those legs! That face! Those legs! Oh man, those legs. 38-year old Martin St. Louis is the rare hockey player who’s equally hot both with and without his playoff beard.
But it’s hard to think about his face once you get a peek at his awesome, awesomely huge legs. I’d love to feel those thighs crushing the sides of my face while I went to town on his dick.
Martin St. Louis (French pronunciation: [maʁtɛ̃ sɛ̃ lwi]; born June 18, 1975) is a Canadian professional ice hockey right wing for the New York Rangers of the National Hockey League (NHL). An undrafted player, St. Louis has played over 1,000 games in an NHL career that began with the Calgary Flames in 1998. St. Louis played for the Tampa Bay Lightning from 2000 until being traded to the Rangers in 2014, and was a member of the Tampa Bay Lightning 2004 Stanley Cup championship team. St. Louis has also played for HC Lausanne of the Swiss National League A.
St. Louis was a standout player in college for the Vermont Catamounts, earning East Coast Athletic Conference (ECAC) and National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) all-star honours for three consecutive seasons between 1995 and 1997. He was the ECAC player of the year in 1995. As a professional, St. Louis has been named to an NHL All-Star Team on five occasions and played in six All-Star Games. He was voted the recipient of the Lester B. Pearson Award and Hart Memorial Trophy as the NHL's most valuable player as chosen by the players and league respectively in 2003–04, also winning his first Art Ross Trophy as the NHL's leading scorer with 94 points. St. Louis has on three occasions won the Lady Byng Memorial Trophy as the league's most gentlemanly player. In 2013, at age 37, he won his second Art Ross Trophy, becoming the oldest player to ever lead the league in scoring. He has also led the NHL in assists in two different seasons (2003–04 and 2012–13).
Internationally, St. Louis has played with Team Canada on five occasions. He was a member of the team that won the 2004 World Cup of Hockey, and played in the 2006 Winter Olympics. He is a two-time silver medalist at the World Championships and was named a tournament all-star after leading the 2009 event in scoring with 15 points. At the 2014 Olympics, in Russia, he won the gold medal with Team Canada.
St. Louis was born on June 18, 1975, in Laval, Quebec. He is the son of Normand and France, and has a sister, Isabelle. He met his wife Heather at the University of Vermont, where he graduated in 1997 with a degree in small business management. They were married on July 15, 2000 and have three sons: Ryan, Lucas and Mason. On Thursday, May 8, 2014, Martin's mother, France, died unexpectedly in Montreal at the age of 63. After discussing the idea of playing in Game 5 against the Pittsburgh Penguins with his father, he told coach Alain Vigneault that his mother would want him to be with his teammates.
The family maintains an off-season home in Heather's hometown of Greenwich, Connecticut. St. Louis runs an annual summer hockey camp in the nearby community of Stamford for young players in the region.
No comments:
Post a Comment