Thursday, August 3, 2017
5 Ways Same-Sex Parents Can Prepare Their Kids For School
From: NewNowNext
3
HAPPY HOLIDAYS?
Celebrating Mother’s Day in School
Many classrooms celebrate Mother’s Day through various activities, stories and crafts. As with any discussion about family, this can cause unnecessary stress for kids without mothers, and negatively reinforce differences from their classmates.
Ask the teacher what the specific activities will be, and what accommodations (if any) are offered to children with two mothers or no mother, depending on your family. Ideally, the alternative should be as seamless and unobtrusive as possible. Some teachers may already take such measures, whether it’s making something for both moms; or in the case of kids of two fathers, allowing them to create something for one or both dads, or perhaps Grandma or other female family member.
In any case, this shouldn’t require extra effort on the part of the child, or for their activity or craft to be significantly different.
My son’s kindergarten teacher told him he could do something different during their week-long (!) Mother’s Day celebration — yet only offered crafts and worksheets pre-printed with “mother” on them. I won’t go into details, but suffice it to say I’ll be asking his 1st grade teacher to make sure any Mother’s Day activities won’t leave him feeling excluded or pressured to conform.
“Teachers need to be thinking critically about Mother’s Day, and not just in regard to same-sex parents. The idea that mom or dad is even in the house and will be celebrated isn’t the case for many kids. I find that holidays are often a point of departure for talking about valuing everyone’s family & traditions. Instead of making a craft, we talk about the different ways people around the world celebrate.” —John, kindergarten-2nd grade teacher, Texas
“Our school doesn’t do anything for Mother’s Day for this very reason. Making Mother’s or Father’s Day presents isn’t a necessary part of curriculum, and it shouldn’t be. However, sometimes we write notes or invitations to parents. We leave them open-ended (not specifying it has to be “To Mommy & Daddy”) to accommodate any kind of family.” —Lisa
The same principles described above can also be applied to Father’s Day, though most schools are out for summer by the time dads get their day.
Wednesday, August 2, 2017
5 Ways Same-Sex Parents Can Prepare Their Kids For School
From: NewNowNext
2
ONCE UPON A TIME
Story Books & School Libraries
As the number of same-sex parents has increased, so has the number of books that feature characters or story lines their kids can relate to. Yet while most two dad or two mom families have these books in their home, very few schools or classrooms do.
Ask your child’s teacher if there are any books in the library or class that represent families like yours. If not, find out what the process is to have them included — and be prepared to suggest some titles. For a simpler, short-term solution, lend a book or two to your child’s classroom — and then offer to come read it. This puts a real face to a concept new to most kids, and you might even get to field a few questions from inquisitive, young listeners.
“In my classroom, we have And Tango Makes Three. I also use Oliver Button Is a Sissy to talk about bullying. I have the kids say hurtful things to an Oliver paper doll; and for each harmful word, I tear it a bit. Then they apologize in an attempt to make Oliver feel better.With each apology, I cover a tear with tape. When we’re done, I say, “See, Oliver is as good as new, right?” They notice the tears are still there, just covered. It’s a powerful lesson on how deeply bullying affects others.” —Eric, 1st & 2nd grade teacher, Maryland
“We have books with same-sex characters/parents, as well as books about trans issues. All students have the right to feel welcome and safe in our school. We have a moral obligation to insure such.” —Scott, elementary-school principal, Minnesota
These encouraging comments aside, more than half of the teachers I spoke with don’t have any LGBTQ-inclusive books in their classroom; however, all were open to the idea.
Tuesday, August 1, 2017
5 Ways Same-Sex Parents Can Prepare Their Kids For School
A gay dad enlisted some enlightened teachers to help make back-to-school less stressful.
From: NewNowNext
From: NewNowNext
Editor’s note
Kids across America are heading back to school, including children in same-sex families. While many of the challenges they face are universal, some are unique.
Designer Daddy blogger Brent Almond shares five tips on making the first days of school as much fun as possible. (Sorry, there’s still going to be homework.)
Back-to-school time can be chaotic and stressful—and families with same-sex parents have even more issues to anticipate. Kids with two moms or dads may face situations with potential to both alienate or confuse them, whether it’s a child’s first time attending school or just the next grade up,
To supplement my own (limited) wisdom and experience, I enlisted the help of 10 teachers. While not all have taught kids of same-sex parents, they were all generous and thoughtful in their responses. Here are five of the issues same-sex parented families often encounter, along with input from my awesome panel of educators.
1
FAMILY MATTERS
Talking About Parents in Class
In many schools, the younger grades have discussions and activities related to family. Students are often asked to create a family tree or a collage showing the members of their family. For many kids of same-sex parents, this is when their family’s differences become most apparent.
If not handled sensitively, it can amplify feelings of “otherness” and isolation, potentially affecting a child’s social development and ability to learn.
Early in the year, inform the teacher of any family details that fall outside the mother-father-bio child “norm.” In addition to having two moms or two dads, this could include adoption and birth parents, foster experiences, surrogates, siblings, multiracial/multiethnic families, etc. Particularly if it’s something you’ve already discussed with your child. If your kid knows about it, it’s likely to come up.
For example, our then 4-year-old told his pre-k teacher that he had a brother who lived on a farm in Oregon. She was confused and skeptical, which in turn frustrated my son. He was, of course, was telling the truth.
“Teachers can help facilitate conversations and express feelings if they know the situation. For preschoolers or kindergartners this is especially important, as the children may be experiencing being apart from parents for the first time.” —Lisa, kindergarten teacher, DC
“In some ways, knowing about your child’s family and home life is more important than being skilled in delivering the curriculum. I can’t be a good teacher if I don’t know my kids.” —Rachel, 7th grade teacher, Maryland
“I’ve had students who were being raised by a single mother, grandparents, or foster parents. Every student comes from a different home situation, and by knowing what kind of home life they have, I’m able to adjust my teaching to better meet their needs.” —Alexander, kindergarten, 1st & 3rd grade teacher, Virginia
Equipping the teachers with information helps both them and your children have a more productive and empowered school year.
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