Sadomasochism – the derivation of pleasure from the infliction of physical or mental pain either on others or on oneself
(from Merriam-Webster)
Welcome to the inaugural post of our new feature – “Let’s Get Kinky!” Every week we’ll be exploring a particular kink or fetish that people enjoy as part of their sex life. I am a newbie to some of this stuff, so bear with me. I promise to always at least ATTEMPT to approach it in an open-minded fashion while still remaining honest. Enough with the caveats! Put on your harness, get your paddle and nipple clamps and join us, won’t you?
The majority of humans don’t enjoy pain. Stubbing your toe, getting punched in the face, or catching your cock in your zipper are usually seen as negatives and fairly unpleasant and hopefully rare occurrences in our daily lives. However, some become aroused from being whipped, kicked, spanked, slapped, flogged, collared, scratched, cut, and having their balls in a vise grip. It’s sadomasochism – where pain is pleasure and some guy threatening to take off his belt and use it on you isn’t exactly a deterrent to bad behavior. We spoke with Manhunt member edders via e-mail. He’s a masochist and he let us know why it turns him on so.
What about masochism turns you on?
I guess it’s that whole pleasure/pain theory thing. One day someone did something painful to me during sex and i found myself actually kind of enjoying it. In response to pain the body shoots off all kinds of hormones into your system like adrenalIne and endorphins (happy hormones) which both stop your body from hurting so much and give you this amazing euphoric high. If I’m lucky I find a guy who knows how to manipulate that and we both have a lot of fun in some fairly unconventional ways. I was blessed with a pretty high pain threshold so can take quite a lot, which most guys don’t assume from the fact I’m 5’2 and 110lbs but some guys find it better as a result – a lightweight small guy who can take being used pretty roughly!
Edders went on to clarify exactly what he was into that fell under the category of S&M.
I’m not into everything that involves pain, there’s good pains and bad pains – i don’t enjoy getting punched in the stomach or having my balls crushed, i know people who do but it’s not for me. I really enjoy getting bitten or scratched on the back of my neck and shoulder blades though, even to the point of bleeding or bruising, so i can’t really criticize as well as things like whips, floggers and even knives and needles. I have a big drawer full of medical supplies at home that is actually just for fun, rather than health reasons! For obvious safe-sex reasons I don’t just let anyone draw blood on me. Letting someone inflict pain on you in anyway requires a fair amount of trust that person’s not going to do anything stupid or go too far and actually do something damaging to you. But at the same time with the right person it’s very empowering to find out just how far you can go, how much pain you can take, and what you enjoy, it’s usually the things you least expect!
What was your hottest experience [with this fetish]?
My hottest experience was probably with a friend, it wasn’t necessarily the most extreme session I had, but we were up the whole night messing around with each other. We didn’t actually fuck, just sucked each other off, but he knew I was a masochist and he was a sadist who liked inflicting pain so it worked pretty well between us. He bit down on my neck harder than anyone else but I loved every second of it. He worked out how to read my reactions pretty quickly so he was able to judge everything he was doing just right to cause me to take more. I was so totally lost in all the sensations I was getting that I the next time I looked at the clock it was about 4 hours later! I went home the next day and it was the middle of the summer so I was walking around without a shirt on and my flatmates thought I’d been attacked when they saw the scratches down my back and bruising on my neck! I considered them badges of honor…
Any advice for others?
The great thing about masochism is it can link into so much other foreplay during sex, so you can find a way that works for you. Maybe you’re interested in spanking, maybe you like whips, maybe you just like really hard rough fucking and being thrown about. Like so many things in sex different people enjoy it in different ways. To anyone looking to try it, the simplest thing I could say is start easy, and light, and do it with someone you trust. You’ll be a lot more relaxed if you’re with someone you feel comfortable around. And like most things in life, it’s a lot easier to add more if you find you’re coping just find than start by chucking yourself in at the deep end and getting scared. Build up slowly and take your time and try lots of different things. Certainly don’t try anything really extreme like knives or needles unless you’re with someone who knows what they’re doing. Most big cities have kink communities these days, both gay and straight that are great places to meet people into the same stuff as you, get to find out why different people like things, and learn off people who have been doing it for years. The internet makes it even easier as there’s loads of kink forums, hook up sites, wiki’s etc for those who aren’t in a position to meet people or too nervous about it for whatever reason. Talking to other people lets you not only know there’s other people out there who share your obscure interests, there are people out there who are into things you never even imagined!
Thanks, edders! We really lucked out finding a Manhunt member who was so articulate about the subject. We know a lot of people feel that kink and fetish are taboo subjects. We admire people that are willing to be open and honest it!
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