"DONALD TRUMP WILL HAVE YOUR BACK"From: NewNowNext
Day One of the 2016 Republican National Convention is over and already it’s a hell of a shit show.
Things started badly with a fight by members of the “Never Trump” camp, who tried unsuccessfully to force a roll-call vote on the convention rules.
The group, comprised of delegates who opposed Trump’s nomination, were blocked by party leaders. They issued a statement later, criticizing convention leaders for “strong-arming delegates and skirting the rules” to silence critics—”or, as the Trump campaign puts it, ’crushing’ and ’destroying’ delegates.”
The speakers continued the convention’s surreal vibe: They included survivors of the attack on the embassy in Benghazi and former New York City mayor Rudolph Giuliani, who told terrorists “we know who you are, and we’re coming to get you!”
Duck Dynasty star Willie Robertson addressed the delegates, too, as did former TV heartthrobs Antonio Sabato Jr. and Scott Baio.
Robertson declared Trump was the right choice because he “will have your back.”
“If you’re looking for a job… or trying to grow a business… DONALD TRUMP WILL HAVE YOUR BACK.”
“If you’re a serviceman fighting overseas… or a cop keeping us safe at home… DONALD TRUMP WILL HAVE YOUR BACK.”
“If you’re an average American who feels like you’ve been forgotten… neglected by far away leaders… that the deck is stacked against you and you just can’t win… DONALD TRUMP WILL HAVE YOUR BACK.”
Still no word on whether Trump would have your back if you were black, gay, Mexican, female or Muslim.
Baio was Trump’s attack dog: In his speech, he went after Hillary Clinton, “a woman who somehow feels entitled to the presidency… that she is somehow owed it.”
Mark Geist, who survived the Benghazi attack, claimed “Hillary Clinton failed to protect her people on the ground.”
One speaker even invoked Martin Luther King, though the walls did not run red with blood, as some predicted.
Sheriff David Clarke recalled MLK’s 1963 impassioned plea about “the interrelatedness of all communities and states” and about humanity’s “inescapable network of mutuality, tying us in a single garment of destiny.”
Many, like Sen. Joni Ernst, spoke about the need for America to be the world’s leader again.
“There’s a void in the world,” said Ernst. “A deficit that cannot be filled by others. Our country and the world of which we are a part simply cannot afford four more years of this lack of leadership under Hillary Clinton.”
So it’s America’s role to fix all the problems in the world? Isn’t that mindset what, you know, caused a lot of the world’s problems?
Most of the speakers also focused on attacking Clinton rather than praising Trump’s policies or record. (Well, when your candidate doesn’t have either…)
“Together Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton brought us ISIS and brought down Benghazi,” U.S. Representative Ryan Zinke said. “I shudder to think at how many more times our flag will be at half mast if Hillary Clinton is sitting in the Oval Office.”
Trump broke with tradition by introducing his wife, Melania, who addressed the crowed at Quicken Loans Arena. (Trump emerged on stage to the tune of Queen’s “We Are the Champions.” Does anyone else see the irony in a Republican using music by Freddie Mercury?”
“If you want someone to fight for you and your country, I can assure you, he is the ’guy,” said the third Mrs. Trump. “He will never, ever, give up. And, most importantly, he will never, ever, let you down.”
Unless, of course, you work for one of his businesses that’s gone bankrupt.
“Donald intends to represent all the people, not just some of the people,” she added. “That includes Christians and Jews and Muslims. It includes Hispanics and African Americans and Asians, and the poor and the middle class.”
Not gays, though—never the gays.
Melenia made sure to declare that becoming an American citizen a decade ago “was the greatest privilege on planet Earth.”
And then she plugged Donald’s upcoming show, er, campaign: “The race will be hard-fought, all the way to November. There will be good times and hard times and unexpected turns—it would not be a Trump contest without excitement and drama.”
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