As most of you know, I'm a fan of gay porn (if you follow me on Twitter, you know that I'm a@GayPornFanatic and have been writing about gay porn for 7 years.) Porn stars are like my celebrities (and having met / so many of your favorite celebrities is...interesting). Besides the fact that I'm feeling like we have reached peak gay porn, I still believe in its virtues - I don't believe porn is as harmful as mainstream society wants you to believe, and actually feel like it's less harmful than reality TV or romantic comedies.
(Think About It: Many people's sex lives are closer to porn than their romantic lives are to romantic comedies. Most people don't get randomly swept off their feet by their knight in shining armor at a coffee shop on a Saturday morning in the city's trendiest neighborhood, while discussing 18th-century literature. But how many of us, for instance, have had sex with a man looking to cheat, like "Cheating Faith" showed us?)
But just like many people use reality TV and romantic comedies as a crutch for their own lives, many people use porn in the same way, as a crutch for their own lives.
I feel like I have become one of them.
I hadn't realized it, but porn had become habitual for me. Instead of fantasizing about the hot guy I saw at the gym, or thinking about that sexual fantasy I want to try, or even thinking about that hot sexual encounter I had once upon a time, I'd just open my laptop, find something on xTube, spend 5-ish minutes, wipe up and / or swallow, and call it a day.
That's why, in February 2016, I will not use porn to jack off, using only what's in my head, and I will document the experience here.
I know what you're thinking: "Garridan, you write for a porn website centered around porn - doesn't this complicate things?"
Yes. Yes it does.
Watching at least one new porn scene a day for my job DOES make this a little more challenging. But that's the point. Watching at least one gay porn scene a day is exactly WHY I want to do this. Not only had watching porn become habitual for me, watching it for work can make it feel mechanical.
I want to be able to be completely turned on by a guy I'm with and be in the moment, not thinking about the porn I usually watch to get myself off. And I want to re-discover what made me like porn in the first place.
In January 2016, I did the whole "New Year, New Me" thing, and took the time to cut some things out of my diet that were harmful. It was extreme - I cut out dairy, caffeine, alcohol, and nearly all carbs. And the results speak for themselves:
(inb4 "Clean Your Mirror")
If I can give up cheese, I think I can give up porn.
Regardless, I'll be documenting the experience here.
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