The Best And Worst of “American Horror Story: Hotel” Episode 2

Room service!
From: NewNowNext

 You’ve checked in, gotten settled in your room, and now it’s time explore what this Hotel has to offer. But are the amenities to your liking? Probably not!

Welcome back to American Horror Story: Hotel, the show where everything’s made up and the plot doesn’t matter. We’ve got more murder and mayhem to keep you satisfied, but will that be enough to get you to extend your stay?

 BEST

Gaga Getting Actual Lines

Hey! Ryan Murphy gave Gaga something to do other than wear nice clothes! And ya know what? She’s not completely horrible at it! Good for her!

 Madchen Amick

As if we weren’t all salivating over the return of Twin Peaks (a much better horror show all around…) Madchen pops up here to tease us as the concerned mother of a (terminally?) ill child. Sure she’s had some work done since her days at the Double R Diner, but hey, she looks good.

 This Creepy Kid Sub-Plot

Everyone loves a good creepy kid sub-plot. Titrated blood cocktails for everyone!

 The Disco Flashback

This scene is the new pinnacle of so-bad-it’s-good. I think I just found my camp G-spot.

 WORST

Sally’s Heroin Monologue

Ok, we get it, you do heroin. But do we need the 5 minute flowery monologue about it? Probably not. I think we could have gotten this all from context clues — but Murphy isn’t exactly known for subtlety. (No shade to Miss Paulson here, she’s trying her best with bad material.)

 Copface McStrongJaw

Does anyone know this character’s stupid name? Does anyone care? Just shut up with this boring plot mopped from Heavy Rain and go away.

 New Dandy’s Haircut

WHAT IS THIS HAIRCUT?! WHAT IS THAT RED STREAK?! ARE WE IN A MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE VIDEO FROM 2004?! GET REAL. This whole fashion show scene is garbage.

 Evan Peters’ Mustache

You’ve got to be kidding me. And that accent? Nope!

 Another Gratuitous Rape Scene

Not cool.

Nine Million Characters

Murphy’s “more is more” philosophy was hard to deal with in Coven, downright annoying in Freakshow, and (if the first two episodes are anything to go by) not going anywhere any time soon. What’s the running tally on new protagonists per second here anyway? Like 3,000?