A new line needs to be added to all marriage vows. Before you’re officially declared married, you need to shout out an ALL-CAPS, bolded, italicized “FUCK YES” to the following: “Do you promise to love, honor, and trust your piece in sickness and in health, and also let them spit their gum into your mouth if they win an award and need to give a speech?”
Distractify posted a series of GIFS as evidence that expert penguin purse holder Peter Dinklage spit his gum into the mouth of his wife of 10 years, Erica Schmidt, before he went onto the stage to accept the Emmy for Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama. When Peter’s name was called, he kissed Erica, pulled away, realized he’s chewing gum and it looked like she put out her hand like, “Dump it in my hand.” Peter then went in for another kiss and that’s when the two may have redefined the meaning of “true love” by passing that chewed-up piece of gum. Peter sort of confirmed the whole act of touching, heartwarming sweetness by telling the audience, “I wasn’t prepared at all. I was even chewing gum.” Pull out your Detective La Toya® brand magnifying glass to see for yourself if Erica proved that she’s ride chew or die:
The evidence says: SHE DID!. That is almost “stick your finger up my ass and pop my stubborn doody bubble” levels of real love. And this isn’t really “snowballing” since they’re passing a wad of gum instead of a cum load. So what do we call this? Gumballin’?
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