CUTE BRIT GETS PENIS TATTOO WHILE DRUNK, WIFE LEAVES HIM

I guess this really goes without saying, but don’t get a tattoo if you’re drunk. According to U.K. tabloid Mirror, a 34-year-old British man got a tattoo of a penis on his thigh while drunk, and it caused his wife to kick him out. And it’s a damn ugly tattoo to boot.

From: Gay Porn Blog

 A husband has been kicked out by his wife after getting a comedy penis tattoo stretching halfway down his leg.

Stuart Valentino, 34, got the X-rated inking on his thigh as a drunken joke but the prank backfired horribly.

Wife Samantha, 35, decided she could take no more after it meant the family had to scrap a holiday and swimming trips with three-year-old daughter Ayla.

Stuart, from Southsea, Hampshire, said: “My wife hates it. In retrospect, I’m not surprised, it really is the stupidest thing I’ve ever done.

“After I did it, my wife woke up in the morning screaming, because there was this massive penis poking out of the duvet. And the tattoo on my leg.

“It caused no end of rows, and she’s now kicked me out of home. I deserve it, I suppose.”

Sam – mother to kids Callum, 16, Luke, 12, and Lana, 11 – from a previous relationship – ended their marriage last month, after almost seven solid months of rowing.

Stuart added: “We argued non-stop. It would cost nearly £1,000 to remove, something that could have been spent on a family holiday.

“Finally last month, Samantha announced she couldn’t take it any longer, and left me.

“I had no idea that a joke could ruin my life. I’m devastated I’ve lost my family, and frustrated with myself. I can’t blame anyone else.

“I have a constant reminder poking out of my shorts every day of how stupid I’ve been.”