For those of you who didn't time your Ambien Emmy viewing party correctly last night and ended up face down in your veggie tray, Jon Hamm won the long awaited Emmy award for his work as Don Draper on Mad Men. The win comes after 16 Emmy nominations, 8 of which were for Jon's role on the hit AMC drama. He was excited, the audience was excited, he cracked some jokes, they laughed, it was picture perfect. Or was it.
In what can only be perceived as a deliberate attempt to keep his thigh clanger hidden from the world, Mr. Draper skipped the red carpet at last night's Emmy award ceremony, leaving Lubriderm (Aveeno for you fancy girls) masturbation stations across the country unused. Some speculate that the pre-ceremony no show was related to his divorce from that woman from that lesbian movie, but we all know he was just being a big tease.
In order to properly celebrate the Emmy win for the best bulge in the biz, let's take a look at some of Jon Hamm's greatest bulge moments in history.
Holy Shit Bulge
You. Can. Do. Anything. To. Me.
Federal Bulge Inspector Bulge
The dick and balls are creating independent bulges. Swoon.
Bat Bulge
Is he the cutest fucking thing you've ever seen?
It's Bulge O'clock Bulge
Dick tock
Deliciously Thick Bulge
Call me beep me if you wanna penetrate me
Give A Dog A Bone Bulge
Woof
World Champion Bulge
The bulge has created its own distressed spot on the jeans
Is That A Ball Or A Dick Bulge
Either way...
Just Wanna Grab It Bulge
The cutest little outfit
Are His Balls As Big As I Think They Are From This Picture Bulge
Please God say yes
Gulp Bulge
That smirk
And of course, the bulge that I see when I lay my head to rest...
I Once Was Lost But Now I'm Found Bulge
Head. Head head head. Head.
Balls. Balls balls balls. Balls.
Now go clean your filthy self off (and put the lotion back before your roommate gets home).
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