Ask QC: Am I a prude?

From: Queer Click

Dear Ask QC,

I’m 19, not really into the bar/club scene and so far I meet my dates through the apps (Grindr, Scruff, etc). But most guys either block me or just stop chatting because I don’t immediately send over my dick pics. I’m not ashamed of my dick or body but I feel it’s a bit too much to send these type of pics within the first few minutes of chatting. My friends (mostly around the same age, a few a bit older in their 20’s and 30’s) think it’s hilarious and have even said I’m a prude! I don’t think I am, it’s not like I’m standing on some high moral ground or whatever, I just want a little romance I guess… does this even exist anymore? So guys, am I a prude (at 19!) for being like this and what’s the best way to get over it?

Thanks guys,

Tomas


Hi Tomas and thanks for writing in with your questions and concerns. Sending pictures of your genitals to others via dating apps is entirely optional and not obligatory. Just because others deem this as de rigueur doesn’t mean that you have to follow suit. Sticking to your own principles or standards doesn’t mean you are a prude either, it just means that you have a mind of your own and don’t necessarily follow the crowd. Remember, it’s the other guys who have the problem here and not you, if both parties agree to swapping intimate pics that is entirely up to them, but don’t feel coerced into doing something you do not feel comfortable with. And yes indeed you are right, where is the romance? It’s definitely possible to find romance on the apps although you will have to be very specific on your profile as to what you are looking for. Also, if you’re not into the bar scene for meeting guys then perhaps you will need to thing further afield. Have you considered joining gay social groups or just other special interest groups that get your attention (sports, hiking, gaming, movies, etc) where you will be meeting people with a common interest and taking it from there. It may not be as direct as a gay dating app but remember there are gay people everywhere and not just on the apps! So dear QC readers, what advice would you give Tomas in this situation?