Wednesday, June 4, 2014

American Ninja Warrior's Nunchuk-Swinging "Gospel Rapper" Struggles

From:  Morning After
You can tell a lot about a city by its American Ninja Warrior contestants. In Venice Beach we got the usual amount of stuntmen and waiters, but if this week's Dallas-set qualifying round is any indication, 85% of all sporty white guys in the South are youth pastors. Take the gentleman in the above video: Rocky Thomas a.k.a. RapidFire is a self-described "gospel rapper" whose mad faith-based flow serves to prove that old adage "White people should probably not rap." So how do his skills translate to the ANW course? Not well, to be honest.
 Also, of course, there were your boyfriends. A LOT of your boyfriends competed this week (including your boyfriend the chicken farmer and also your boyfriend with 11 toes) and many of them got beaten up very badly by the course! Bloody noses and dislocated shoulders abounded. Your boyfriends need to be more careful!


Anyway, without further ado, here is this week's parade of American Ninja Warrior's most attractive monkey-hunks:

















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