Saturday, March 29, 2014

Novak Djokovic

 Novak Djokovic (Serbian: Novak Đoković, Новак Ђоковић, pronounced [nôʋaːk d͡ʑôːkoʋit͡ɕ] ( listen); born 22 May 1987) is a Serbian professional tennis player and former world No. 1 who is currently ranked world No. 2 by the Association of Tennis Professionals(ATP). He is generally considered to be one of the greatest tennis players of all time.


 Djokovic has won six Grand Slam singles titles and has held the No. 1 spot in the ATP rankings for a total of 101 weeks. By winning three Grand Slam titles in 2011, Djokovic became the sixth male player to win three Grand Slams in a calendar year. By reaching the 2012 French Open final, he became the ninth player in the Open Era to reach the final of all four Grand Slam singles tournaments and became only the fifth to do so consecutively. Amongst other titles, he won the Tennis Masters Cup in 2008, 2012 and 2013 and was on the Serbian team which won the 2010 Davis Cup. He also won the Bronze medal in men's singles at the 2008 Summer Olympics. He has won 17 Masters 1000 series titles, breaking a single-season record with five titles in 2011. This places him tied for third on the list of Masters 1000 winners since its inception in 1990.


 He holds several men's world records of the Open Era: becoming the youngest player in the Open Era to have reached the semifinals of all four Grand Slam events both separately and consecutively; the first and only man to win three consecutive Australian Open titles in the Open Era; and playing the longest Grand Slam men's singles final in history (5 hours 53 minutes). Djokovic's ATP tournament records include winning 31 consecutive ATP World Tour Masters 1000 series matches, playing in the finals at all nine ATP Masters 1000 tournaments (a record matched by Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal), and being the only player to win eight.


 Djokovic is the first male or female Serbian player to win multiple Grand Slams and the first Serbian player to rank No. 1 for more than 100 weeks. He is the first male player representing Serbia to win a Grand Slam singles title. Djokovic has won numerous awards, including the 2011 Laureus World Sports Award for Sportsman of the Year and the 2012 Best Male Tennis Player ESPY Award. He has won the ATP World Tour Player of the Year twice consecutively, in 2011 and 2012. He is a recipient of the Order of St. Sava and the Order of the Star of Karađorđe.




You might not give a fuck about tennis, but it’s common knowledge that Novak Djokovic is one of the hottest players in the game. We couldn't believe our eyes when our deal pal Kenneth M. Walsh shared that Djokovic’s the subject of a Serbian tabloid story, suggesting he’s been caught waving his dick around on camera.
 Unfortunately, Djokovic doesn't have any distinctive tattoos, scars or birthmarks that would give him away, so we’re using the following as indicators that this might actually be him—1) The chest and stomach hair patterns are very similar, 2) The nipples are a similar size, and 3) The thumbs are almost the same shape, which is a stretch, but we’re just going to roll with it.


 At the end of the day, this minor evidence doesn't prove that the torso pic and the dick pic are the same man, so if you want to be able to say that you've seen Novak Djokovic’s shaft, you’re gonna have to put your faith in a Serbian tabloid’s potentially questionable source… But, uh, is there really any harm in that? Let’s all pretend this is definitely Djokovic’s dick, until he pulls out the real thing to prove that it isn't.



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