DEAR BUTT

By David Mills
Kelvin from Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia writes…

2 January 2013

Dear Butt,

I have some problem with guys… Every guy that I meet up with for the first time will end in sex.

Before we meet up, they sound like a gentlemen, but after the first date — and first sex — they will only text when they feel like having sex again. I been facing this problem quite long and it starts to make me lose hope to pursue love or Mr. Right.

Is it true that true love doesn’t exist in LGBT community?

Kelvin

2 January 2013

Dear Kelvin,

I can’t speak for the Ls, the Bs or the Ts, but how did the Gs get to the point where we’re complaining about too much sex?

Snap out of it!

Stop looking for Mr. Right and start enjoying Mr. Right Now. Plenty of guys who found Mr. Right, would give their left testicle for a night with Mr. Right Now. I recommend keeping one or two of them on speed dial at all times. When the dry spell comes — and it will come — you’ll thank me.

Of course Mr. Right Now only wants to fuck you. So what if he’s a bit cryptic about his day job or what you’re going to name your first born. The thing about Mr. Right is: he rarely shows up where you expect him. And who says Mr. Right Now won’t someday evolve into your rom-com wet dream. Give it time and enjoy the ass-pounding.

Be careful what you wish for, Kelvin. If you thought looking for Mr. Right was hard, just wait until you find him.

Fingers Crossed and Legs Spread,

David