Bad postcard of the week:

Buffalo Bill Cody is dead, but protected well
From:  The Grand Rapids Press

 You think it’s easy to take a bad postcard photo? No way.

Luckily, reader Fred Ritsema can help. I received his letter – and this week’s gloriously bad postcard – on Friday and couldn't wait to share it.

The back reveals:

“Buffalo Bill’s Grave on Lookout Mountain, Denver Mountain Parks, Colorado. At the summit of Lookout Mountain is the tomb of William F. ‘Buffalo Bill’ Cody, famous Indian Scout, who rode this region more than 75 years ago, and selected this site as his final resting place. Pahaska Teepee Museum displays authentic relics of Buffalo Bill and the Indians of his day.”

Fred writes:

I grew up in Grand Rapids, but now I live and work in Boise, Idaho. I follow your bad postcard column online. I think this one qualifies, and here are my thoughts.

How to take a bad postcard picture:

1) Stand way back, even down steps so that the Buffalo Bill grave site looks very small.

2) Do not zoom in to make the grave site look bigger, so that the blue sky overwhelms the actual picture focus, which is the grave site.

3) Wait until a little boy stands in front of the grave site, further blocking it from view.

4) Wait until many people are ignoring the grave site and are using binoculars to take in the view from Lookout Mountain.

5) Stand to the right of the grave site and feature some dead bushes.

6) Wait until a cloud is in the middle of the flagpole, one of the very few clouds in a blue sky. That way the cloud and the flagpole look like they intersect.

7) Proudly put “Union Pacific Color Photo” on the back of the postcard. This is as if we cannot tell that from looking at it that it is color and not black and white. Featuring Union Pacific as if this postcard is something to brag about.

Excellent tutorial, Fred! I'm fairly sure that Fred is the only Ritsema in all of Boise.

I like the curved, spiked fence surrounding the tomb. You don’t want folks just walking up and touching those rocks. And you know the kid, Denver Danny, is contemplating whether he could clear the spikes and impress the girl in the pink dress.

You go for it, Denver Danny! Be bold!

Wait, the bars and spikes turn inward. Maybe they're not there to keep visitors out. Maybe they're supposed to keep Zombie Buffalo Bill in. Seems extreme, but it does give you some insight into what people at the time thought about Old Bill.