Sunday, November 23, 2014

Bad postcards of the week:

 Hunters delight in open season on deer, turkeys
From: The Grand Rapids Press
"Where the antelope roam," Gillette, Wyoming
I’m out of state this weekend, which means I’ll be missing the parade of deer riding to their new homes on the roof.

New Yorkers don’t get the whole deer hunting thing. We hunt for parking spaces. I’m not saying it’s bad or anything, I just don’t get the appeal. I will probably feel differently when one finally darts out in front of my car.

Deer hunting is pretty big in Gillette, Wyo. At least that’s the impression I’m getting from this week’s bad postcard, called “Where the antelope roam.

Usually these linen cards are works of art. But it’s hard to tell what’s going on here. For one thing, the ones lying down don’t appear to be roaming at all. I don’t think they’re having a good day.

Then we have the critters in the back. What’s going on there? A conga line? A Rockettes-style kick line? I didn’t know deer do that. Is it a police lineup of the usual suspects after the mysterious garden thefts?

And how big of a bait pile do you need to attract that many deer?
"A wild turkey in the Ouachita Mountain near Hot Springs, Arkansas"
I’m a little more excited about Thursday’s animal of choice, which would be turkey. I’m the official turkey cooker in the house. And I think they look better in the form in which I see them, which is in a bag from Costco.

But that does lead to a bonus bad postcard of the week, “Wild Turkeys of Arkansas.” The back reads: A wild turkey in the Ouachita Mountain area near Hot Springs, Arkansas.”

The title is a little misleading, because we don’t know if this is some of the wild turkeys of Arkansas, or all of them.

What we do know is that these are some darn ugly birds. Colleague and fellow postcard fan Garret Ellison suggested that close-up is like something we’d see in a bad alien movie.

And I also know that they look so much better in my maple butter glaze stuffed with dressing using my mom’s recipe – and even better in sandwiches for the next week!

Now, in all seriousness, have a wonderful holiday! I have a lot to be thankful for. This year started out pretty tough, but as it winds to a close I think things are working out. I know there are some things I'll never take for granted again.