Monday, December 8, 2014

Bad postcard of the week:

 How Santa knows if you've been naughty or nice
From: The Grand Rapids Press
Santa updating his naughty and nice lists.
 I’ve always kind of wondered if “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” is a creepy song, but this week’s bad postcard confirms it.

Readers last week requested we get into the holiday spirit. But the holidays can be a little scary. The only things more frightening than your typical Rankin Bass special are the postcards I have in line for the rest of the month.

Let’s start with the German card we see today.

The song has that famous line, “He sees you when you’re sleeping. He knows when you’re awake. He knows if you've been bad or good. So you better be good for goodness sake.

But how, Santa?

Well, now we know. He’s a peeping Kringle!

That’s right. According to this postcard, Santa knows if you've been naughty or nice by ditching his distinctive red-and-white snowsuit and all the reindeer in favor of some less distinctive garb.

Then he apparently wanders the streets making his lists based on random behavior checks through pressing his rosy cheeks up against the frosted glass.

Is Dolly Santa's lookout?
 But it gets worse. Look closely at Dolly waving in the bag. What’s going on there? Is Dolly an accomplice, on the lookout for guard dogs?

Or, is she signaling for our attention as she tries to break free? “Help meeeeeee,” Dolly seems to be saying.

Sorry, Dolly, we’re trying to avoid getting coal. But at least we know to close the drapes tightly.

Speaking of Christmas treasures, I was visiting Cedar Springs for a school function this week and found a wonderful antique store with a huge postcard selection. Sadly, I arrived just minutes before closing time.

But, next to the tidy rows of cards categorized by location, there was a rather disheveled cardboard box of cards, all for one price. I pulled a couple postcards out – and behold, there was great joy. Let’s just say the new year will be eventful.

 Rick Osborn discovered this awesome display!
And speaking of Cedar Springs, looks like Santa has his red flannel. Reader Rick Osborn of Grand Rapids spotted this awesome holiday display near Kent City and snapped a photo.

Great job, guys!